The Green Room
by Roger Ley
Other stories by Roger Ley
“Darling, how nice to see you.”
“And you, Sweetie, it’s been simply ages, come and sit by me. So, what’s the Director given you this time?”
“Oh, just the usual, foot soldiering really. How about you?”
“Just a small cog in the wheel. Same old repertoire.”
“I was a Chartered Accountant last time.”
“How thrilling for you, Darling, I was a Quantity Surveyor, still, you can’t have the lead every time.”
“You never know how it’ll end, of course.”
“Let’s hope not as unpleasantly as last time we played together.”
“Oh yes, that was ages ago, I was one of Hitler’s staff officers.”
“Those uniforms, they were to die for.”
“Exactly, Darling.”
“We should have won World War II though, we looked so much better than the other side.”
“The Italians didn’t look too bad.”
“Too much gold braid, not enough leather, just not aggressive enough. The Yanks didn’t look too bad but the Brits looked as if they were wearing badly-tailored potato sacks.”
“We were married in that one, do you remember?”
“Of course, Darling, how could I forget, you naughty boy. Happy days though, the parties, the flags, the parades, such fun.”
“Yes, but the rallies, all that shouting, it used to drive me mad. Anyway, what gender are you this time.”
“Oh, I forgot to look. Ah, male again, that’s three times in a row, I could have done with a change.”
“Never mind, Darling, it has its advantages, you don’t have all that giving birth stuff to go through. Ugh, makes me shudder just to think about it.”
“At least were both human this time. I was a chimp in one production, so difficult to communicate, all that grunting and gesturing.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen of the Big Production, this is your five-minute call. 5 minutes, please”
“Oh, there’s the first call. How exciting, we’re about to go on.”
“What’s your first scene?”
“The maternity ward at the Darlington Memorial hospital. I make a somewhat noisy entrance.”
“Well, you won’t find that difficult. I’ve never been to Yorkshire myself. By the way, who’s that one over in the corner? He looks a bit dispirited, if you’ll excuse the pun.”
“Oh, he was as a poacher in Africa in his last role. Apparently, he’s reappearing as a White Rhino.”
“He’ll be back before you know it then.”
“And the other one, sitting by himself?”
“Chicken farmer. He’s in and out every six weeks, not sure how many lives he has to work off.”
“Oh well, karma and all that, or is it yin yang, I can never remember the difference.”
“Beginners to the stage please. Standby stage management and technical staff”
“That’s me, Darling. Wish me luck.”
“The show must go on, Sweetie, break a leg.”
“Thanks Darling. I’m coming, Mother. Byee.”
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