The Baboons of Mars
By Esther Davis
Some gods lack vision, others lack common sense.
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No one ever wanted to play catch on Mars.
Nine-year-old Jasper trudged across the red sandscape, grumbling under his breath about boring adults and stupid baby sisters. Dad promised a game of catch. Whyâd the colonyâs generators have to break down today?
Katy couldnât play, âcause she wasnât even a year old. Nibbles the Hamster couldnât play, because he got loose and chewed through the generatorâs main electrical wire. Dad said they could cremate the hamster tomorrow, after he fixed the colonyâs power supply.
Red dust pattered against the dumb fishbowl helmet Jasper had to wear whenever he went outside. Jasper wished he had a cool helmet like the ones Mattâs family used. Their facemasks made them look like the space invaders from the movies.
Matt. Maybe Matt could play! But then Jasper remembered Mattâs colony lived three hours away by dune buggy. Jasper couldnât walk that far.
Jasper kicked a rock and kept trudging. He hoped Mattâs hamster died, too.
After a full fifteen minutes of moping, a strange outline appeared in the distance. Jasper squinted. A pyramid. Heâd never explored something outside the colonyâs airlocked city. This would be fun.
Thick red blocks stacked on top of each other like giant legosâminus the bumpy lego part. Grabbing the edge and jumping, Jasper pulled himself up one level, then another. He held his arms out to his side and ran along the pyramid edge, buzzing his lips like a spaceship.
Then he found the doorway.
Jasper slid down to the sand and stepped inside. A soft, sourceless glow filled the hallway where shadows should have been.
âWelcome, child.â An earthy rumble spoke from the chamber beyond, echoing through Jasperâs plexiglass fishbowl the same way Dadâs voice did when they reentered the colonyâs airlocked atmosphere. âYou may remove your helmet. Itâs safe, pinkie promise. Except I donât have pinkies.â The voice laughed.
Jasper didnât see any thick doors or hear the familiar rush of returning oxygen, but the voice seemed trustworthy enough. Twisting the fishbowl from his head, Jasper continued down the hallway into the chamber.
Something shrieked. Jasper nearly jumped out of his spacesuit.
A baboon, much taller and heftier than Jasper, raced across the room. It leapt and clambered up a slender wall that stood in the center of the chamber. It glared at Jasper, fangs bared.
âNot now, Baba. We like children. Theyâre easy to mold.â
Cocking his head to one side, Jasper entered the chamber. He could see no adults or furniture or even light fixtures. Only the wall that the baboon now perched on, which had a funny looking face painted onto it.
âDonât mind Baba. He only eats peopleâs entrails when I tell him to,â the wall said.
Jasper gaped. âYouâre a talking wall!â
The face scoffed. âI am the great deity Khaf of Ancient Egypt.â
Egypt? Thatâs why Wall Manâs face looked funny. It was painted with hieroglyphs. Jasper giggled. He couldnât help it.
Wall Manâs eyes narrowed. Jasper knew that look. He squinted his own eyes like that when deciding if he should tell Dad that his newest âdinnerâ tasted like pickled feet, or just complain about it to Mom later.
âI, The Great Khaf, have traveled long and far to reach this desolate land of Mars, just as your ancestors, little child. And now you have the honor of becoming my first disciple.â
âWhatâs âdiscipleâ mean?â
Wall Manâs mouth pulled into a frown. âWorshipper.â
âIs that like âfriendâ? âCause I need more friends to play with.â
Wall Manâs mouth sank below the sandy floor. His hieroglyphic eyes became thin slits. âSure.â
The baboon squawked indignantly from atop the wall.
âNo, Baba. Youâre still just a servant. Now, young friend, listen.â
Jasper stopped fishing in his pocket a moment to look back to Wall Man. âYeah?â
âLong ago, I dwelt on Earth, just as your ancestorsââ
âLike my dad?â
âDonât interrupt. Like your ancestors, I dreamt of something more. Somewhere new, somewhere fresh, somewhere where important immortals such as myself werenât overlooked.â
âUh-huh.â Jasperâs gloves dug deeper into his pocket.
âI enacted ancient rituals, tearing my soul from the confines of Earth. I sacrificed all, including my human-like form, humbling myself to but an urn filled with ashes. Yet even now my plan comes to fruition. My ashes combined with mortar, and that mortar built this wall. Everyday my powers increase. One day, Iâll conquer Mars and be called the demiurge of this world!â
âWhatâs a âdemiurgeâ?â Jasper asked.
Wall Manâs eyes sagged. âBaba, supply me with some applause, please,â he muttered from under the sand.
The baboon screeched and clapped violently.
âThatâs better.â Wall Manâs hieroglyphs shuffled. He pulled his face upward, as if squaring his shoulders. âYou, young friend, play a vital role. I lack yet one thingâa body of flesh and blood. If you can provide it for me, I will grant you the deepest desires of your heart.â
Jasper perked up just as his glove clasped around his baseball. âYou mean, youâll play catch with me?!â
Wall Man lifted an eyebrow. âI suppose.â
âRight now?â
Jasper took Wall Manâs wide eyes as a yes. Squaring his stance just as Dad had taught him, Jasper flung the ball at Wall Man. The ball bounced back. Jasper crouched low and cupped his spacesuit gloves to catch the ball before throwing again.
Wall Man mustâve really liked catch. He shouted every time he tossed the ball back, and his eyes made funny twitching motions whenever Jasper wound up to launch another pitch. Jasper especially liked how Wall Manâs eyes nearly rolled upside-down when the ball caught his hieroglyphic nose.
Baba gave another shrieking, clapping cheer.
âThatâs enough! Enough ball games for now.â Wall Man clenched his eyes and wiggled his nose.
âCan we play again tomorrow? Iâll bring that thing you asked for.â
Wall Man brightened up. âYes! A crocodile would do. Or maybe a first-born child?â
Jasper dropped the baseball back into his pocket. âMy hamster died this morning. Would that work?â
The baboon threw back his head in a scream-like laugh and tumbled off the wall.
Wall Man glared. âThatâs the best you got?â
Jasper shrugged. âWe recycle everything in the colony. Canât afford to waste, Dad says. But I donât think theyâll mind a missing hamster.â
âVery well. Bring the creature, and Iâll make do.â
A friend. Finally! Jasper sprinted for the exit. He couldnât stop grinning. âSee you tomorrow.â
âDonât forget your helmet,â Wall Man called. âMy powers donât extend beyond the pyramid yet.â
Jasper scooped up his fishbowl from the sand and screwed it on. He left the pyramid, the baboonâs shrieking laughter echoing behind him.
âShut up, Baba. Iâll make a fierce hamster.â
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